Merchants of Venice

It's been an eventful few days since I last blogged, Sonam's mum has been here visiting, and her Dad recently joined us after a work trip. So amongst the usual bits and bobs of exercising, we have been trying to go out and explore new bits and bobs of LA.

One of the first trips we did was to Venice Beach - somewhere we had been to once or twice before, but definitely not seen it in it's entirety, we had just wondered around a couple of the touristy spots, and taken a couple of pics of Muscle Beach and the basketball courts where 'White Men Can't Jump' was filmed. As memorable as that was in how emasculating it was to see men lifting things with one hand that I couldn't bench press, it compared nothing to the stroll we had of what can only be described as one of the strangest collection of hippies, con artists and drug addicts I've ever seen congregate in one place. It's like a free freak show, just deluded people selling absolute garbage, whether it's advice on 'How to reset your chakra', or some bloke that has basically painted on a bunch of lightbulbs to make them more rainbowy and hippy-like, and has succeeded in two things; making them utterly useless, and then set up a stall trying to sell them for 20 dollars a piece. Next to him was a plonker selling incense stick holders. Just incense stick holders. But homemade balls of wood with holes poked in them. Is it a surprise I didn't see him selling incense sticks too? Of course not, as I'm sure he just found some balls of wood, and figured out how to hammer some holes in them. It's like saying 'Today I will sell this lampshade. I know there is no lamp to match this lampshade, but I am basically tying banana leaves into the shape of a cone, so please buy this lamp shade and stick it on something that currently operates as a bulb. Thanks.'
I saw a woman carving people's names into insanely small wooden blocks, a man who was as high as a kite offering to give you either a henna tattoo or a 'regular one', but with no sign of a needle or the ability to successfully put his cigarette in his mouth without dropping it. There was a middle-aged man just relaxing outside a cafe, in his speedos, belly hanging out and his bald head reflecting light like he was guiding ships to the coast. As he sat there reading his newspaper with way too much of his junk on display, infront of him stood his lowrider bike and a huge, real-life parrot, just sat there chilling next to his loopy owner. You just saw people wandering round yelling abuse at themselves, at random passers by, just generally behaving like zombies in an amusement park that no one was really paying attention to. There was a massive shop filled with what can only be described as hippy clothes. They sold literally one design, the one with lots of different circles going round like the typical image you might play in a film if someone in the 60s was tripping on some drugs, but just in different colours. It was one of the biggest stores we went past, and it just sold shit clothes for like 30 dollars a t-shirt, and I think being high was a pre-requisite to actually being able to buy anything here, but this didn't seem to be deterring people. I saw one woman who must've had about 8 t-shirts in her hand - Does she not have a washing machine? They're the same! Unless she is buying a uniform for her family/band/greenpeace group, I really don't know why you'd need that many. There was a blind man with so much hair that it was covering his face entirely, and he was playing the piano amazingly well. I'm actually not sure he is blind, but given that's the premice of his act, I think there is a bout a 60% chance he is not lying about that. I saw a group of teenagers dressed in aforementioned hippy gear, sitting there smoking weed, and basically begging for money with a sign that said 'Travelin on poetry'. Based on that spelling, I'm guessing poetry is a name of some drug they were smoking, as I don't know what self respecting person is donating to that group of idiots, not to eat or get housed, but by their own admission, paying them to go on holiday. The fact that someone would dare to ask me to 'sponsor' them to go on holiday pissed me off. It reminded me of the times I've seen people on my facebook wall ask for donations to a charity to go bungee jumping or sky diving. I'm sorry, bungee jumping and sky diving are things that people pay to do, and are fun and exciting, albeit scary initially, the whole point of the enjoyment is the fear followed by intense joy. So unless you're incapable of feeling the intense joy, or you have lost your arms and legs in an unfortunate accident, I'm not donating to some charity for you to go have a good time. I'd rather just give money to a charity. Why link things that are completely unrelated, and relatively speaking, not a challenge? Today I will be eating two pieces of toast with butter on - please click this link and sponsor me and help cure cancer! Erm, what? You sponsor someone to walk up kilimajaro, not to go to tescos, and similarly, I'm not sponsoring some well-intentioned idiot to do something that required minimal bravery, and something you'd do anyway.

The insanity continued as we walked down the street, and after a while the smell of weed just became something you didn't notice anymore, it was just everywhere. And I'm guessing that had a lot to do with the 'Medical clinic' painted in fluorescent green, basically selling medical prescriptions for weed. I wondered what they do when people with actual medical problems come in, perhaps the odd Chinese tourist who hadn't grasped the actual purpose of the clinic. I imagine Dr Dude isn't properly qualified in broken bones or actual medical emergencies. Saying that, you'd probably have to be high on drugs to mistake that for a doctors clinic, so you've probably ended up in the right place.

Another genuine sighting was a family of 5, one beatboxing dad, one little girl dancer aged about 3, one extremely tired looking boy aged about 6 dancing provocatively thrusting his hips out in weird and inappropriate ways, the mum sitting by the side of the road while moving her little baby around like it was also doing similar thrusting. They were all just dancing away to nonsensical beatboxing and singing from the dad while they tried to collect a few bucks in donations. I really hope for the kids' sake this was just one of their terribly poor taste hobbies, and not a way of life for them. As some passers-by found it amusing and/or 'cute', I just found it depressing. How in the world were those kids going to be normal/not a complete fuck up?

Slightly further down the road were two different desks of semi-homeless looking guys (semi-homeless doesn't initially sound like a thing, but here in California where income distribution is just something Communist Europeans do, plenty of people go broke and then go live in their car). Anyway, semi-homeless guys sitting there with signs up, offering advice for any one of your real world or spiritiual problems. These men, who haven't quite found a way to bathe themselves, fully clothe themselves, find a job or get over the need to have a drink at 10am every day - THESE men will sort you out. Tax issues? No problem, don't pay taxes. Just like Guru Dickhead over here. Health problems? No issues man, medical marijuana will sort you right out. Relationship problems? Just be your real you, and its all about love and peace. I dunno what these people would actually say, but here are genuine email addresses/ web addresses of the guys who were offering their help. Let me know how that pans out for you:

Guru number 1: shivadestroyer666@gmail.com
Guru number 2: nickythehealer.com - Having typed this in, I found him to be extremely popular online, a nutcase, but very popular. Apparently Britney Spears uses him. LOL

Zoltar at Venice Beach! 

Blind Piano player on the beach

Another update was that Sonam and I got married, officially! We still have our big fat indian wedding in February, but we needed to get an official, legal marriage at some stage, and before winter kicks in properly (which it has this week, there were clouds dammit, clouds!!), we thought we couldn't pick a more beautiful setting for a simple civil ceremony than on the quiet parts of Santa Monica beach located in Venice. It was beautiful, simple and quick, just how we always wanted it really, and although it doesn't feel MAJORLY different to be married, there's a subtle sense of happiness it brings, like a mini fist-pump sort of joy for getting something that you already sort of had. It's hard to explain, but it all feels really nice.

So once Sonam's Dad arrived, we decided to make a trip to Hollywood walk of fame. Even though I've been in LA for some time, I haven't at all felt the urge to visit this place, none of those words sound appealing; don't really like walking, don't really like the idea of being famous (rich but just under the microscope, so shit rich), and hence we haven't yet bothered. But with Sonam at uni for the day, I decided to take Sonam's folks to go do something truly LA. In summary, it was sufficiently underwhelming. It's kinda nice to be somewhere iconic, but it's just a load of stars on the road with famous people's names written on them. Pretty much, aside from the odd novelty store, that's it. It's the same reason I can't really get used to the idea of watching the oscars. I don't think I'd ever watch an award show for dentists or chefs, and I'm probably equally affected by movie people, why do we care who won? Surely it's only really relevant for someone who is an actor? Very similar for the hall of fame. And on that note, I kind of felt bad for the actors that initially got put in the centre of the hall of fame and then when your follow up film or tv show stinks, you get moved further along. How depressing! Like slowly being phased out of fame..

However, talking of depressing, I think the most depressing job I've seen out here has been found. As you walk around the walk of fame, these wannabe actors and actresses dressed in Halloween gear, imitating very poorly some random celebrity figure, one which requires as little skill as possible. Like Iron Man, or Spiderman, and they just try and shake your hand, make conversation, and try to get you to take a picture with them. If by some miracle that works, they then have to convince you to give them the 1 or 2 dollar tip. I guess I just can't imagine how depressingly aimless that job has to be. I mean, what's the best that can happen at a days work doing that? It's so loosely connected to what you want to be, and you have to dress like an idiot, behave like an idiot and then get paid peanuts while most people see you, think you're a loser, and then ignore you. I think I'd rather be a toilet cleaner, and that way just NOT get noticed, or have to dress silly, while the rest of the above still holds.

Finally, I was sat waiting for our car to be cleaned, and as with everywhere here in America, if you're gonna wait around, you may as well eat some sugar and salt and deep fried stuff. So lets just bung a cafe next to the car wash and pop the telly on. So, as I sat and ate my bagel with cream cheese (or should I say ate my tub of cream cheese with bagel), the TV was playing some 'Entertainment' 'news'. Yeah, I meant to put both of those words in quotes. Not really sure which part of bitching about people's dresses while these celebrities walk up the red carpet, kiss at the cameras like they love all those people on the other side of the lens and pose for the paperazzi, is entertainment. Or news. This shit is probably THE most braindead TV I've ever stumbled across. I think I may have learn't more, or got less wound up watching the actual fashion TV. But this was just complete, mind-numbing, infuriating, sums-up-whats-wrong-with-'News'-in-general, garbage. Three skinny mid 30s women, who are apparently PhDs in Bitching, all look at Rihanna or some other woman's dress (again these people aren't blameless - they dress insanely to get noticed, and stand around so people have time to capture all the madness so they can be part of Bitch TV the next day), and they say things like "Oh, I love Jenny, she is such a crazy cat, but a heart of gold, I love her. But this reaallllly didn't work for me, I really think she is just trying too hard and perhaps looks like she may have just lost some of her dress while getting out her car". Ok, I'm sorry, but you almost certainly don't know Jenifer Lopez, so you're almost certainly not on first name terms, and you definitely don't 'love' her, and you know nothing about her heart of gold, or anyone's there. Your information about her is compiled from idiotic magazines like People magazine and gossip columns on why Leonardo DiCaprio hates his kids because he seems to be growing his hair out (I dunno, but you get the gist). You have no idea who she is, you just said you liked her, and then to make yourself seems edgy and fun, you then went and gave her a nice little bitchy comment with some vague notion of fashion so it's not completely mean, and then had a giggle with dickhead 2 and 3 sat next to you. The fact people like that get paid, the fact this was on TV, the fact it's encouraged by the celebrities who get famous because of it, the fact people bloody watch it (WHY?! WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW YOU WEARS TO A SHOW?!), all of everything to do with that just drove me mental. In summary, I hate 'Entertainment' 'News'.

Anyway, we had a lovely thanksgiving dinner at a place on Santa Monica beach yesterday, it was nice to finally get slightly involved in the tradition, even if it is based on a story of immigrant invasion and pillage of a people etc. But hey, I'm not American, I don't really know anything other than if it helps people be nice to each other, then great. Well, until today, Black Friday, when we all smash each others faces in to get 50 dollars off on a TV. Hell yeah!

Happy thanksgiving!

LA Continued..

"The end of the year is fast approaching". A common phrase, and a ridiculous, slightly nonsensical sentence, but one fairly apt for the last few days. As I booked our trip to Hawaii, it started to feel really close, which is bad for two reasons. 1) The obvious one - the trip is coming to an end, and even though it feels like we have nearly seen everything we wanted to on the West Coast, this feeling of sunshine and freedom is ticking away, and I keep looking at the date the same way I used to check my credit on my phone as a teenager; nervously. and 2) I'm not really in any better shape, and if this trip is nearly over, so are my hopes and dreams of being in shape for my wedding. Ah well!

On that note, it's not been for a lack of trying with the whole getting in shape thing. This week was mostly gyming, taking advantage of being in LA for a change, and although no more famous people spotted, we have been doing the only other thing to do in LA, which is exercise. We tried out the boxing/cardio/strength class, and although not kick boxing, it was incredible. Perhaps when you look at calories burned, it helps to already be kinda heavy, but according to the nifty Heart Rate gadget they attach to you, I burnt 900 calories approximately in the hour-long class, and I have to say, it was ridiculously hard, but lots of fun. Unlike the trainers at the circuit training, these guys push you a lot more, and do so without making you feel totally inadequate. It worked for me definitely, and they combined weights, cardio and boxing training really well in what turned out to be my favourite class yet. Plus it helps there was no search for "inner peace" at the end of the class. Almost didn't know what to do with myself without someone telling me how much over 100% I should be putting in to 'my life inside of here and outside'. I wish I'd discovered it a bit sooner, but I'll most certainly be heading back. 

The other thing I finally tried was going to the shooting range. I've had to be so careful how I word that experience after the tragedy in Paris, and it felt kind of insensitive to be going the day after the attacks, but at the same time, thinking about it rationally, its completely detached, and as long as I'm not posting pictures of me doing that while people are mourning, and simultaneously changing my profile pic to the France flag, I figured it was fine to go experience this seemingly strange, very American hobby. (Not to mention I'd quite like to live in this country, and a picture of me waving around an AK-47 probably isn't going to do me any favours.)

If you do watch the video, you'll agree it's just a little bit strange. It obviously sounds like what it would in a war-zone, something very hard to get used to. When I got there, I was a little bit in shock. The first few minutes, I couldn't stop jumping at the sound of bullets, and when we registered (took under 5 minutes to write your name down and buy some bullets), you just head to the range. What I was most astounded by, other than how busy and big the place was, was the extremely diverse range of people that were there. You had the stereotypical old white male with cowboy-esque gear on, but then you had biker guys, Chinese nerdy guys, young couples, groups of girls hanging out, parents who had brought their kids to just carry bullets and guns and what not. I'm sure it's mostly me being judgemental, but you read in the news how the proportion of the American public that the NRA (big pro-gun lobby in the US) represent is very miniscule. I expected it to be an equally poorly represented sample at the range, and it wasn't. Simon, the friend who generously took me there along with his friend, who will forever in my memory be known as 'mate', is an enthusiast. And knowing him for years, I know his interest in guns comes from nothing violent, but just a general interest in getting good at what is an extremely challenging skill, combined with the ability to do incredibly difficult things with better equipment. And, having tried it, it is very much something that's easy to get into. I enjoyed the challenge of aiming for targets, and I enjoyed challenging myself to get better as the day went on. Saying that, I think if you made any game hard enough, I'd be willing to try and get better at it. However, I will go as far to say I can see the appeal. It's a difficult skill, and playing around with these dangerous toys to hone that specific skill is challenging, and within that comes the entertainment. But the diversity of who it appealed to, and the plethora of guns and ammunition just lying around, all extremely easy to access, extremely easy to own, and although it depends upon the common sense of individuals to not screw up and do something stupid, the fact that people are trusted with that over here is, to me at least, mind blowing! We aren't trusted to walk across a recently mopped corridor in the UK without giving us a prior warning, but here in America, you drive up to this place, get your guns out, buy some bullets, and go for it. It's not like it's unsafe, its very very safe, but to a novice like me, I can't help but notice I'm surrounded by a load of killing mechanisms, and it just seems odd you'd allow us to take the risk. I dunno, it seems like a hotly contested topic here, and I'm no expert, but for whatever reason, the right to own your own gun seems to be very important to many Americans. As an outsider, I just don't get why you'd want to introduce that random variable in your society, when, to the average individual, its perfectly acceptable to just regulate it. 

Our friend Neeraj from Berkeley has been here the last few days, and was equally taken aback by the whole gun thing, but also equally entertained. We proceeded to explore Hollywood, Bel Air, Santa Monica beach, Beverley Hills all in the space of an afternoon. Having travelled predominantly with Sonam the past few years, I had forgotten what 'boyish tourism' was like (I have written that term a dozen different ways, but it still sounds peadophilic and/or gay). Anyhow, what I mean is tourism with a group of guys is very different to tourism with girls. With girls you have to tick off all the famous spots, go take a nice picture at the area, google the best food and drink places in the area, perhaps read something in the vicinity, even better, manage to be at the ideal spot at sunset, tag yourself on facebook when at the place, the whole shebang.. With guys, its more a case of having driven through it, and gained a brief idea of what it was (e.g. 'I think this bit is Hollywood'), and if it looks busy, keep driving/walking. This is until you see something very very cool, in which case perhaps try slowing down and taking a picture whilst driving past, all up until you get a) hungry - (which doesn't involve tripadvisoring the 'cutest spot in the area', but just seeing what the next place was after discovering you were hungry) or b) somewhere not so busy, so you can continue sitting down, but this time stationary as opposed to cruising around. So yes, much tourism was done on Sunday with Neeraj and his friend, so many sights and amazing parts of LA were discovered. But perhaps in a much more real sense, nothing was actually seen, other than the 30 minutes we spent in the coffee shop in a supermarket. It was a nice supermarket.. 

I feel compelled to at least mention the shootings in Paris, and without going into the complexities of it, I'd like to say it was extremely shocking to read about the terrorist attacks, even from all the way over here in LA. It is so sad and frustrating, and I've read so many half informed views out there that can only be viewed as one dimensional and hurtful. However, yes, its sad that people cared about France after the attacks more than those in Beirut. I wish it weren't that way, but I think it's human to care more about something closer to home, especially if in your mind, things like this happen more frequently in the Middle East. I don't think it's mutually exclusive that if you care about one you don't the other, and people that change their profile picture to support France aren't necessarily being unperturbed by that of Beirut. But people are probably not informed, or perhaps aren't as scared by it because it feels far away and in a land where this sort of stuff supposedly 'happens'. Yes, in an ideal world, it'd be nice if the same amount of press coverage was given to all human disasters, but there is a reason why celebrity gossip gets more newspaper space than the daily deaths in the Middle East or Africa. News is effectively now a form of entertainment, and people are 'entertained' by news pertaining to them, or about famous people that they find interesting. The problem is not so much with people being bad, but probably a mixture of the way society is used to seeing the news, and news channels and newspapers perpetuating this phenomenon by focusing solely on ratings, turning news and information into more vapid, soul-less machines that fulfil our desire to be 'informed' on the world, as long as it's not too unbearable to watch and we can still empathise with those affected. The below front cover sort of sums it up - nice little bit in the corner about the Paris attacks.. (OK not the greatest examples of news, but still, sums up what some people care more about reading)

The other sad side effect is the rise of the far-right wing, already flooding my facebook feed (I should really review who I am friends with), about how essentially we should be wary of all immigrants, especially muslims. That seems to be the general gist, and the comments on these posts then revolve around Muslims hating on Americans and the West saying how this was all caused by them and the invasion of Iraq, and then there is a countless number of people who blame the religion who supposedly facilitates this sort of behaviour. I hope both these very aggressive, yet easy to believe if you're gullible, views subside, and we return to a society which is on the whole, accepting of difference, and not recoiling in anger at things we don't fully understand. At least until I get my bloody visa approved, alright?? Only kidding. But yes, hope we return to peaceful times sooner rather than later. 

Californication continued

As I nervously await the judgement of the United States on whether they will allow me to pay my taxes to them, Sonam and I continued our travels. This began with a flight to San Francisco, firstly to check out the hustle and bustle of this exciting city, see some of the sights that came with that, see some friends at Berkely, and mostly to check out if it's really somewhere where Sonam and I could settle down.

With San francisco still being about the size of the South of England, we decided to rent a car, but in an effort to be economical, we downgraded from the Mustang to a smaller, older Nissan Versa, a car more suited to the trampy style I'd grown accustomed to in the UK. It was probably the first time I realised I was now in the 'spoilt' category in the car department; as I pressed on the accelerator for the first time, unlike the roar I'd gotten used to, it was a bit more like a wet fart. Anyway, snobbery aside, before we proceeded to explore the run-down streets of SF, we drove to Mountain View, a town known for everything but the view really, but more because it lays home to Google and Linkedin's headquarters. I can't quite figure out why its there, other than some sort of tax beneficial reason, because its a) ages away from the city and b) has literally nothing else to do there as far as I can tell, other than the odd spot of golf, or just watching a bunch of techies driving around on those google bikes you see in the film 'Internship'.  There isn't even a good cafe or restaurant, really, at least as far as I could tell - presumably because, based on Sonam's day there, they have full on canteens with an insane amount of variety and choice, and its all FREEE. Sure, they pay you less than some jobs, but I guess if its perks you're looking for, its perks galore. Free doctors on site, free food, free travel, great benefits when you have kids; essentially a wet dream for the corporate job people. All sound like good reasons for Sonam to work there, especially if I'm going to stay in the ever-volatile job that I'm going to be in again (fingers crossed)! Anyhow, I chose to not really bother with exploring offices, dropped Sonam off and ventured to the nearest Golf course. Aside from sucking majorly at golf, I also stood out like a sore thumb because I was surrounded by what seemed like retired or very wealth executives, who were talking mostly about their stock investments, where they were going to be playing their next golf tournament, what watch were they looking to buy themselves for christmas etc. It was funny, I felt once again like I was operating in a completely different world to these people, and although they were about 30 years ahead of the curve than me, I hope my curve leads into a slightly different direction. Well, except the golf, I wouldn't mind getting as good as those guys..

The next day, after a jog around the Berkeley Campus, we drove into SF city, and drove over the Golden Gate bridge. It was a beautiful day out, and we got some lovely pictures, especially from the pier near Fort Point. There were a load of Chinese men and women, presumably working for local restaurants, fishing away, pulling in fish by the bucket load, and celebrating loudly each time. They didn't however like getting photographed, as I found out when trying to take an artsy picture (see below). He yelled something aggressive at me, and I couldn't figure out what, but he was waving his arm at me and said something about "Fuck". Also, it didn't help he had approximately three teeth in total, making me stare longer. Oh well, it was time to move on anyway, and we spent the evening in Fisherman's wharf; a kind of touristy, but charming hub of restaurants and chains, along with a bunch of randomers in the street hoping to get paid for doing things that were really adding nothing to anyone's life. For example, the guy playing steel drums over some music that was fine on its own, and the guy 50 metres down the road doing exactly the same. Given I had seen zero steel drums while I've been in California, why didn't the second guy who came with his steel drums just go to ANY other tourist spot? Very odd. Also, there was a guy standing in the cold dressed as a dog, and making his two puppies stand there with him, while he just shouted "any money for the dog?". Again, very odd.

(Artsy sweary guy)

Berkeley was a great little town, if a little too studenty. And for a place that was studenty, there didn't seem to be anything open after about 10pm. But still, very beautiful all the same, and you really got a feel for being surrounded by academia. Also, while on my run, I stumbled across one of these:

It was a little Library effectively allowing people to pick up and drop off books as they please, for free. I think they should do that everywhere. Maybe it will encourage people to become more literate (Ok, I can't talk with my poor vocab and grammar, but still), and hopefully they'll stop saying "Literally" with everything, something that seems very common since I've been in America. "I'm literally dead" doesn't mean anything (well, anything possible at least). Nor is it OK to say "I didn't do nothing" whilst giving evidence in court. I feel strongly you should probably at least go to jail for a few days just for saying that. Ha, anyway, language snootiness aside, I just thought that was a wonderful idea, with so little downside.

The next day, we took our now trusted Versa and went east, in search of Napa valley where we were meeting my cousin and uncle who I haven't seen in 10 years. My cousin has had a baby, who is now a two year old little terror, but possibly the cutest kid I've seen in a while. All in all, a lovely reunion, set in one of the most blissful settings I have been lucky enough to sit in. I wish I knew more about wine while I was sat there, but oh well, I had a great time nibbling on cheese while sampling the different types, looking for the flavours described on the label, but really only grasping broad things like 'dry', 'smooth', 'sweet' etc. After a night in Sacramento with them at their beautiful home, we set off back to LA after possibly one of the biggest 'brunchiners' known to man. 

All in all, San Fran, run down and full of the homeless as it was, was an unforgettable trip, partly because of the location and the buzz of being in another proper city, but mostly because of the generosity and kindness of the people we stayed with, from Sonam's friends in Berkeley to my family in Sacramento. 

Back in LA now, we have decide to stay put for a couple of weeks, mostly because we have people visiting; one of our friends from Berkeley this weekend, followed by Sonam's parents the following week. Very much looking forward to it! This weekend, I'm hoping to go shooting finally with Simon, so hopefully one more thing off the bucket list, and the fact I'll be in one place for a little while means I can work on a couple of other ones that are a bit harder to do. Namely, volunteer work, and trying out a new, more 'real' job for a little bit. Also, hoping to be back in the eating healthy/exercising loop again, as we naturally drop out of it every time we go away. So, today was SoulCycle, the over-exuberant spin class. As expected, it was still full of woohooing, rhetorical questions and cheering, but I think it genuinely does the job in terms of getting you motivated, and pushing you to a decent level you'd probably struggle getting to on your own. 

One thing I'll sign off on is something I've noticed the past few days, firstly being in the student town of Berkeley, and then being on UCLA campus today with Sonam, but it genuinely is getting to a weird point how attached to their phones people are. Every student I saw was on their phone, even those hanging out with other people, mostly scrolling, texting, whatever it is. Maybe it's work related, who knows, and I know I am encroaching dangerous ground here; Sonam is always telling me I'm on my phone (although I can't really explain why considering I really don't keep in touch with that many people), I have an Instagram account, have recently become active on Facebook again, and am obviously writing this blog. So a rant about people being vain and living their life in public, however true, I'm almost as guilty as anyone there. But, I will say that I think it's just a worrying way to grow up, where interaction face to face is not normal, where hanging out with someone in person doesn't mean putting your phone away, where witnessing a magnificent new sight is all about capturing the perfect Instagram picture, or Vine, or Facebook profile picture, and then measuring it's success by the number of likes instead of by the beauty that is around. Anyway, for me, all of these tools are a great way of cataloguing our moments, essentially creating a simple to use, interactive diary to flick back to and relive these days when we are 75. But we can, and are going too far, and a little restraint can go a long way. Anyway, all it has really done is confirm that I am going to have my 4 day blackout, in December when the visa stuff is sorted. I think its important to do so occasionally, to help find that balance to an otherwise addictive way of life, and a chance to experience the true joy of why we are somewhere, why we bothered to fly all the way round the world to get away, and to not get sucked back in. 

Annnyyway, I hope to follow with another update soon, hopefully with more about what it's actually like to live here in LA, something we haven't really done for the time we've been on the west coast. 

Happy as Larry (David)

So as I await to be cleared for a visa to work in the US; a nervous proposition for a South Asian man attached to his beard, I have been distracting myself with living the life of a tourist again. Sonam and I have got our travelling shoes on again, and this last week we were accompanied by her younger sister, also killing some time before she starts working. So, the three unemployed amigos have been driving south this week, exploring more of California in all its sunny glory. Having Tanisha (Sonam's sister) around this week was great, she's easy going and fun to hang out with, but I feel so old when I talk to her. I find myself asking her about 'what kids her age are into' (what the hell?), or not knowing who these celebrities or 'famous artists' are, or just watching in awe as she tucks away a double bacon cheeseburger as I nibble on my no-cheese-no-fun-lettuce-with-more-lettuce salad. I just sit there with my metaphorical sour grapes and look for someone older to compare myself to. But that aside, great week!

As I eluded to there, after some heavy binging and eating in UK/Hamburg, I am back to eating healthy and trying to exercise a bit before the wedding. We enrolled to Soul Cyle, some spinning class thing which is hyped to be 'super amaaazing' (Insert LA accent please). It was basically just a regular spin class I found, just with lots of over the top 'woohoo-ing' from the class participants, and a distinct lack of air conditioning/fans. I'm not really sure why it's so hyped, but then I think the fact that I read some celebrities attend might be why it's developed such a brand. Don't get me wrong, its a really fun (painful) way of getting into shape, but it was kinda the same as any other spin class I'd been to. Well except for the instructor yelling retorical questions out to the packed class like 'whats everyone upto tonight?', or 'how're you all feeling?', or 'are you ready?!', or 'are you excited for halloween?'. Turns out the only correct answer to these oddly conversational questions mid class was to reply with 'Wooooooo'. The class obviously ended with a minute of self reflection and meditation, as everyone 'looked into their third eye' to find 'that goal that brought them to class today' and most importantly to 'give 110% both in here and out'. So many annoying things in those sentences, I won't even bother going into all that. Stripping away all the bullshit, I would definitely go back simply as that's the closest spin class, but I really wouldn't mind someone who actually told me when to turn up the resistance as opposed to asking me pointless questions. One thing I'm excited to try next week is a class called Box n Burn; a kickboxing class that does cardio and strength at the same time, and it'll be fun to take that class, especially as Sonam and my local friend Simon are going to join me. So, that accompanied by the weekly circuit training, occasional gyming, spinning and running should hopefully do the trick! Well it seems to be working so far, if the trick was to try to maintain exactly the same shape as I got here.. Grrrr

So one of the places we went to was Rodeo drive in LA, and checked out the surrounding Beverly Hills. It was as expected really; beautiful houses, lovely palm trees, ridiculously lavish shops, and men and women with botox dripping from their faces as if it wasn't designed for sunshine. Still, a great little day trip, and topped off by a trip to the Cheesecake factory, a classic 'TV restaurant' as I call it, one instantly recognisable to the tourist after years of product placement in sitcoms. Considering we didn't even get round to trying the Cheesecake, I was pleasantly surprised by how good the meal was, and how accommodative they were (restaurants in LA don't really tolerate substitutions or changes to their dish by us picky vegetarians), and surprisingly went up the leaderboard to one of the best places I've eaten at while I've been here. I'm sure people actually from LA would hate me saying that, but hey, credit where its due!

After a day or two sticking around LA, we decided to have a day trip to Laguna beach and San Diego. Laguna beach was an hour or so away from 'home' (more nomadic as the days go by), and about 20 minutes in Tanisha regretted her request of having the roof down in the car, as the wind of the Pacific Coastal Highway smacked her in the face and blew her hair in her mouth. Like I said, overrated. Anyway, Laguna beach was amazing; again more amazing to Tanisha as apparently there was some reality TV show many years ago that I have never seen, but apparently we could see Lauren, or Lizzy, or whosever's house from where we were on the beach. Still, as lost as I was on that front, I was blown away by the tranquility and simplicity of the beach. It is quite small actually, but incredibly beautiful, and its serenity was symbolised by the people sitting on their own, on benches that overlooked the ocean, simply reading a book, having a drink and enjoying the peace and quiet.

After a quick bite of delicious Mexican food (have to say, the best cuisine in general out here, if a little repetitive for a veggie), we made our way to sunny San Diego. We stopped off slightly before San Diego at a little town with a view called La Jolla (as I found, it is NOT pronounced how it is spelled, more La Hoya, apparently). This is where I first got a glimpse into the Halloween craze I was going to witness for the first time from an American perspective. I mean, halloween in the UK generally means a little bit of fancy dress (optional), maybe a house party if you're above 16 and trick or treating if you've got kids, and generally a few scary movies come out. Well, its kind of like that here, but on steroids. Think parade instead of house party, think 'sore thumb' if you don't wear a costume (I found that out the hard way), and think armies of kids strolling the streets for free candy. 

So anyway, La Jolla was superb. the views were stunning, and we got there just before sunset, so a perfect time to admire the vastness of the ocean. We also happened to stumble across a very friendly seal or otter, who was super keen to jump out the sea and pose for photos in front of us tourists. 

Next stop - San Diego! We approached San Diego as the sun was properly setting, making for some stunning pictures from Coronado Island, a little island separated by a very long and elliptical bridge from the mainland of San Diego. The views from there were amazing, and gave us a view of the buzz and excitement from a quiet and sleepy setting.

And when we made our trip back over the bridge, it really had a feel of a proper city, slightly different to the way LA feels as it is so spread out. It kind of felt like a Chicago with better weather. It had a vibrant and diverse crowd filling the city centre, mostly young people enjoying the very broad range of bars and restaurants available. I could really see myself enjoying that city, it felt closer together, more compact, like a proper city that I was used to being in, and yet still maintained that west coast beachy feel right on its edges. Maybe I got a slightly exaggerated view of the buzz, given it was the day before Halloween there were plenty of people dressed up and ready to celebrate. Still, I loved it, and it's definitely on the list of 'maybes' for places to live.

The next day, once errands were run, exercise trudged through, we decided to check out the next hot sport in town; Basketball! We looked for official Lakers tickets, but got after no luck on the official website, we got really lucky on Stubhub, picking up some VIP suite tickets for a bit of a bargain. So, as it turns out, Kobe Bryant, the face and complete brand of the Lakers, is still pretty amazing, but defensively they're pretty awful. they were up against the Dallas Mavericks, who as it happens, are relatively awesome. All in all, it really wasn't that close a match, but to my amazement, the stadium still packed out right up to the nose bleed seats, and no one really got up till right at the end. It seats a mere 20,000 people, tiny compared to a football game, but they play so often, they really don't need to sell out that big a stadium to rake in the ticket receipts. We had a really fun evening, all lined up in Lakers jerseys, watching the Dance cam pan across the crowd, the Kiss cam pressuring awkward couples, the cheerleaders, the half time entertainment acrobat, the american food, the celebrity spotting (Stevie Gerard), and the guy who tries to throw a basket from the half way line to win a ridiculous amount of money! A complete american experience!

So Tanisha left the other day, and Sonam has been back on her studies for today, so I was left to my own devices. A quick run later, followed by watching Man Utd scrape to a win, I went into Santa Monica to grab a bit of lunch. On my way back to the car, I saw a horrendous thing (well aside from my parking ticket); rain! It was drizzling! I noticed people looking to the sky as if Godzilla was coming, start sprinting to their car, or the nearest coffee shop, completely unprepared for this natural disaster. I decided to do the latter - I'd already got a parking ticket, I may as well make the most of it. Huckelberry Cafe is a name that rang a bell, a place famous for its brunch in Santa Monica, and as it was right next to my car, I decided to pop in and grab a drink before heading back. As I sat down, I encountered my first celebrity sighting; Larry David from Curb your Enthusiasm. And curbing my enthusiasm is what I ended up doing. As much as I'd have liked to approach him and get a picture, I realised he looked kinda grumpy, as he always seems to on TV, and plus I didn't really want to open with 'Hi, I'm a big fan', and then not really be able to back it up with actual knowledge! Anyway, after a sneaky picture and a coffee, I drove home surrounded by panicy LA locals, running from their Godzilla, probably trying to find shelter at home.

Oh, and finally, Urinal update. I keep seeing this, can anyone explain what the hell is wrong with the people making these?? Why are they designed for midgets?

Right, thats enough for now, off to San Francisco tomorrow, may the travels continue!